hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

tvspecial:

*president voice* 1 2 3 4 i declare a nuclear war

franson:

are u there god? itsa me, mario

princeowl:

ok but before u unfollow me we gotta do a duet of ‘gotta go my own way’ sorry i dont make the rules 

echoesofoswin:

leonkuwatastonguepiercing:

mukuroikusabaka:

finish this sentence: m

y body craves for the touch of mashed potatoes, the soft white flesh of the vegetable sliding over my body. i havent slept in fifteen days. only the beautiful rapturous gooey white semi solid plant matter inspires me to continue living. sometimes i like to imagine that the mashed potatoes have accepted me as their loving partner. oh can i dream.

What the actual fuck

thegobletofsexualtension:

*sweats nervously* 

thegobletofsexualtension:

*sweats nervously* 

davidandthat:

surprisingly accurate.

davidandthat:

surprisingly accurate.

thranduart:

lokeleo:

andthenewt:

weirdnessloveandscifi:

bohemian-napsody:

very fucking punny you shits

teeth

with all the actual humour, tumblr still finds “teeth” the funniest thing.

actual humor

Haunted pancakes